Angelina Jolie

I could stare at this picture for hours. And when I say "could", I mean "I just did". The last thing I remember was staring at her tongue, and then there was this blissful white light and I was in a butterscotch meadow talking to a unicorn about the true meaning of friendship. But I guess she has that effect on people. I know girls who are completely straight but would drink warm blood to get their hands on Angelina for an hour. Which is a very girly thing to do. No guy does that. No guy ever says, “Yeah, I’m no homo, but there’s just something about Gary, the way he bends over the engine block to cap the plugs on his GTO. Man, what I wouldn’t give for a piece of that.”

Guh. Just creeped myself out there a little bit.

Anyway. Here’s a super high res gallery of Angelina lookin like she could fukk you in half. click for big.


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Sharon Stone found alive in park just miles from her home

(Los Angeles CA) – A man walking his dog stumbled across the remains of actress Sharon Stone Wednesday, ending a yearlong mystery as to the performers whereabouts.

Ms. Stone was spotted at a popular dog park just off Mulholland Drive in the Hollywood Hills. Ms. Stone had no dog, but sat in the middle of the twenty acre park wearing a long dark coat on a warm October day, a large 'Basic Instinct' baseball cap pulled low over her face and a pair of dark sunglasses.

The "actress" sipped from a cup of Coffee Bean coffee, trying to go about her day while avoiding a throng of imaginary fans and paparazzi.

"Yeah, it turns out that her movies suck and she’s an irritating, insufferable, ego-maniacal, self-centered, patronizing bitch, so no one was really lookin for her," said police.

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I have no idea what to call this one

I gotta be honest, my original intent in linking this was to make brilliantly funny, smart-ass comments about how Playmates are actually very average and purely the result of a hundred hours of makeup, lighting and CIA level photoshopping. But it turns out I'm not that funny. And apparently they really are that hot.



Which surprised me because I read somewhere that over 100,000 pictures are taken for a Playmate pictorial. And I guess that and unbelievable skill with a camera comes in handy for the times when you have to trick people into thinking that this actually looks like this. But mostly, I was astonished at how good most of these girls look on a convention floor under natural light

And since these are pics from conventions like the AVN and Glamourcom, some of them are pretty damn funny. And by “funny”, I mean “terrifying.” Like this guy. I dont know who he is, but he's not foolin anyone.

And can anyone explain how some of the filthiest porn stars on the planet can look this good in person. How is Taylor Rain even still alive after the countless hundreds of STD’s she’s swallowed. Her body must be like a Jenga, each STD perfectly balanced with the others, somehow forming a solid pillar that can stand on its own and survive.

Anyway, here’s the full link. These pics get kinda addictive. At least if you’re a guy in his twenties with no girlfriend. Even though I’m hilarious and a tiger in the sack.

(stares at his phone, waits for it to ring...)

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