Saturday, February 19, 2005

hard and fast

A couple of quick links here sent in by the urbane and attractive readers who are a hell of a lot better at finding stuff like this than I am. In my defense, that’s mostly because the day room here in the prison still has a dial-up connection and I only get an hour a day online. Most of the big stuff I post is written while on parole, but when you’re a hard mother fucker raised on the streets like me, those gates are just a revolving door.

The Lindsay Lohan Barbie Doll: If I were Lindsay Lohan, I’d be asking if I really can lead a normal life while taking Valtrex. But more to the point of this link, I'd be pissed because this doll looks like they just got Arial and that kid from lil’ Pimp to fuck. Better pic here.

Kelly Clarkson has acne on her back: So I said, “Kelly honey, you should take a shower, that stuff will clog your pores.” And Kelly says, “But I want a reminder of our night together.” Well pumpkin, you got one.

Nicole Kidman says something lucid and reasonable. Oh, uh, never mind.

Matt Dillon down with the swirl: If you’re like me, you’ll notice that the guy in the picture doesn’t look anything like Matt Damon. But if you’re like me, you’re an idiot who can't read headlines right. Bio for the girlfriend here.

The Kris Kross homepage: I know some people have had a hard time getting on to The Superficial lately. You won't have that problem here. In fact, about ten minutes after I clicked here for the first time, they knocked on my door. Asked me if I needed any yard work done. Be sure to check out the remarkably patronizing ‘tour info’ link.

That’s all for now. Oh, and that picture of Marisa Miller up top? That really had nothing to do with anything, except to declare my unquenchable love for Marisa Miller.



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