Saturday, January 08, 2005

Ummm ... why is Catherine Zeta Jones doing cellular commercials?

(Eden Prairie, MN) - "Uh, did the acid just kick in … or did I just see Catherine Zeta Jones in a phone commercial. And, mind you, not a funny, ironic phone commercial but a vague, confusing, pointless phone commercial. What the hell? Five minutes ago, she was the hottest piece of ass on the planet. Her contemporaries were Angelina Jolie and Nicole Kidman. Now its the "can you hear me now" guy.

I mean, I kinda understand that her confidence cant be great because Laura Elena Harding is like a younger, hotter, sluttier version of her, and that has to suck, but Jesus, cell phone ads? Maybe next she can be the voice of the BK Value Menu. What was the point in marrying that mummy if she still has to whore herself out to commercials?

Oh, and just so were clear, on a scale of 1 - 10, I would fukk Catherine Zeta Jones a good hard 9, but there's no one in hell 'T mobile' is gonna make it. No way, no how, regardless of how bad I wanna bang the spokes model. Even without Zeta Jones, the commercials are dumb and confusing. All I want from my phone company is free nights and weekends. I don't wanna learn Italian so I can blow some guy in a coffee shop, I just want free nights and weekends. Give me that and 1000 anytime minutes, and I'll follow you to hell and back."


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