Monday, January 31, 2005

Native American co-worker kind of disappointing

(Austin, TX) - Expectations were high for Jonathon Takes Enemy when he accepted a position at Dell Computer this past summer, and not just because he has a M.B.A. from BYU.

"I just thought he'd be able to do cool Indian stuff, like predict the weather or track people through the office by feeling the carpet," said co-worker Ashley Tappan. "I figured he'd have some cool tips on how to brush a ponies hair or grow peyote, but so far nothin. I feel a little deceived, to be honest, like he misrepresented himself."

And supervisor Matthew Stark agrees. "I know that Jonathon's a Crow Indian and they've always been a peaceful people, but they're all savages, right. They're all dangerous. I was kinda hopin he'd have a necklace of scalps or teeth or somethin that he'd wear to labor meetings or with the distributors, cause then it'd be like our tribe against their tribe, ya know. No one would fuck with us then. They'd all be too scared of the wily savage, crouched in the corner of the boardroom behind a fern, wearin a bear skin with a knife in his teeth and dried blood on his chest. God that woulda been great. Oh well."

Stark continued, "Yeah, it's too bad too, I mean, if he's not gonna entertain us, I guess were gonna have to let em go."



Anonymous Anonymous said...

wow brendon sorry about your loss you stupid, stupid little man. i didnt think barbarians existed anymore, guess you proved me wrong.

1:10 PM  

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