Monday, January 24, 2005

local masturbators say Anna Kournikova fake nude pictures "close enough"

(Portland, OR) – Following the revelation this week that nude pictures of Anna Kournikova, prancing on the beach with Fez from "That 70's Show", were in fact forgeries, area masturbators said, "… oh God … oh God Anna … oh you little bitch … UHHHHHGGGUUUHHHH!"

When shown both the nude pictures and then the originals, renowned local masturbator Dustin Steffens said, "I’ll be with you in just a minute"

When reached for a quote several hours later, Dustin said, "The point is it looks a lot like her, the long blond hair, the flawless tan skin glistening in the sun, the tight taught body, the firm supple breasts … pardon me for a minute."


In a phone interview several hours later, Dustin continued, "It’s maybe what she would look like, if she were swimming in the ocean nakid, and that’s really the point. The pictures say ‘Anna Kournikova’ at the bottom, and they’re of a hot, tight bodied blond with her breats exposed, and the nature of the pictures, taken by a paparazzi hiding in the trees almost a quarter mile away, give them a forbidden, naughty feel. Now if you’ll excuse me."


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