Wednesday, January 19, 2005

Fat, ugly girl passes out at fraternity party. Things work out fine.

(Baton Rouge, LA) - Tragedy did not take place over the weekend at a Theta Xi - Phi Mu mixer when unattractive sophomore Beverly Hendricks blacked out after drinking an estimated 13 Smirnoff Ice.

"Yeah, we found her in one of the rooms, about 2:30, dead to the world, flat on her fat fuckin face," said Theta Xi president Michael Clooney. "We were gonna mess with her, you know, we thought about it, but none of us could really get into it. Someone asked me why we didn't rape her, and its weird cause ordinarily we would have, but ... its just, this is a big girl, maybe a deuce and a half, and havin sex with her just never even crossed my mind. It just woulda been more trouble than it was worth."

"Tommy (Hatchcox) was gonna take a dump on her, but he couldn't get one out and, in hindsight, I guess it woulda been a little mean. She actually just left a little while ago. Her dorm is right across the street."


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