Friday, December 31, 2004

Japanese heavy metal band wants to know; "are you weady to wock?"

(Pasadena, CA) - As the latest import to sneak onto the shores of California, Japanese supergroup 'Loudness' began a 15-date club tour to introduce their hard-rockin sound to an American audience.

Getting their start at the 'KROQ Almost Acustic Christmas', lead singer Ichiro Yamahama whipped the crowd into a frenzy with his commanding stage presence. "Ha-row Wos Angewes," Yamahama screamed. "We are ... Woudness, and we wanna know - ARE YOU WEADY TO WOCK!"

In between time spent slaughtering dolphins and masturbating to violent porn, the Japanese have found time to delve into American-style hard rock. Not content to just plaster 'hello kitty' stickers onto every inch of the country, many Japanese teen girls have immersed themselves in the music of American stars like KoRn, Andrew W.K. and Incubus.

"Me wove Eminem," screamed one pigtailed future bukakki star. "Him got big wound eyes and spiky bwond hair. He wook wike G.I. who bomb my grandpas willage and steal my grandma! Eminem wules!"


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