Friday, December 31, 2004

Dexatrim and Pantene mix proven better than Viagra for erectile dysfunction

(Seattle , WA) - A common suburban scene that played out recently may lead to a breakthrough in the treatment of impotency. Research scientist Dennis Haugue remembers the moment well.

"I was working in the garage one day, watching a Mariners game - I remember Ichiro just ran out a triple - and my wife comes out to grab another pint of Ben and Jerry's. I don’t know if our fukkin freezer makes Ben and Jerrys or what, but we never seem to run out. And that’s when I had my epiphany, I remember thinking, 'you know, I had no trouble getting a hard-on when she weighed 115.'

And so the theory began.

"When we first got married," Haugue continued, "and her hair was dirty blond and down to her ass and her stomach was flat as a board, my dick got hard enough to cut glass. Then, slowly, gradually, everything kinda went to hell. Those 5 pounds a year, after ten years, don't exactly have me ripping her clothes off. I still run 30 miles a week, keeps me pretty trim, got a decent tan. She’ll sit on that damn couch for hours and not move, layin there in a lump like she fell out of a plane."

"And the fact that she has a twin brother, and with her new dyke hair cut she looks just like him, that's not making me any hornier."

"So, as I'm mulling this over in my mind, I'm thinking, maybe the problems not with me. Maybe, just maybe, its normal to not be so excited about fuckin a woman who, at this point, looks nothing like the girl I married."


Anonymous Anonymous said...

Amen brother

8:26 AM  
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