Friday, December 31, 2004

Area car dealer overstocked! Announces ‘Dealin Days!’

(Blair, NE) - A clerical error has local auto-superstore Tyson Motors overstocked, forcing the auto giant to slash prices to the bone.

"Friends, our lots are full and the time to deal is NOW," said sales manager Dominick ‘the dominator’ Klein. "The 2005 models are just around the corner and we’ve still got too many 2004’s, no reasonable offer will be refused, Prices May Never Be This Low Again!"

And industry experts agree. "This is a stunning mistake," said automotive analyst Tommy Porter. "You’d think they would realize that the lot can only hold so many cars, and then order that amount. It’s amazing. Now they’re oversold and now they gotta deal. You can bet heads are gonna roll for this one."

Rufus Sweater, an independent father of six, was swept up in the once of a lifetime savings. "Shit, buyin a 2005 Navigator with leather, DVD and GPS aint never even crossed my mind, but prices may never be this low again, and Id’a been a damn fool not to buy one today, and my daddy didn’t raise no damn fool."

When asked if he had reservations about buying a $70,000 SUV, just months after moving into a $60,000 home, Sweater said, "Well, we may have to dilute Britney-Ann’s insulin for a month or two, but if there’s a problem, we’ll just give her a candy bar. Or not give her a candy bar, however that works."


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